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Friday 19 August 2022

This Beating Heart by Laura Barnett

At forty-three, Christina finds herself living alone, her marriage and dreams of raising a family broken down after years of unsuccessful IVF and two miscarriages. Her ex-husband has started a new life in San Francisco, while Christina remains in their old London flat, haunted by 'what might have been', and hoping that Ed will consent to her using their remaining frozen embryo for one last-ditch attempt at motherhood. 

It's time really for her to move on, and, with a little push here, and a new acquaintance there, maybe Christina can find a new future.

The author herself underwent IVF treatment, and despite, or because of, it being success it led her to think the unthinkable - what if it all goes wrong?  How do you pull yourself up and start again after such a blow? 

I've loved this author's previous novels - Versions of Us and Greatest Hits - so was very enthusiastic to read this, but somehow it just didn't hit the spot in the same way. The first half or so, while Christina struggles with the past, was immensely sad, but Barnett really got inside her character, brought her alive on the page as someone to empathise with. Yet even while things are going so badly, it's easy to predict how her future will pan out. It's not the way Christina is hoping for, but the signs are there, and when she's ready to let go of the past, things fall into place just a little too conveniently. As a light rom-com read, it's great but it wasn't what I'd expected.

Although Christina's distressing rounds of  IVF are apparent from the blurb, I feel there maybe should be a trigger warning with this book. I found it unbearably sad at times, and I can't help but wonder how it would be for anyone undergoing treatment, or, worse still, for someone whose treatment failed.
 

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